Unleashing The Wolf Within

It's been a tough few days, hard to explain and total lack of motivation... I will talk about the effects so far in the next few days but I need to be in a better head-space first.   Thankfully, the infusions went well; 6 hours of a biosimilar called Truxima which is rituximab, but cheaper!  No reactions on the day and since then I've spent much time asleep but struggling with nausea and reflux and ugh ugh ugh.   More than that though, I simply don't feel right... very tearful, a feeling that I just want to scream but I don't know what about... the antisickness meds help but ugh, just feel sick, low and rather grumpy.  So, 'nuff said, I shall resume when I feel a tad better.  Just pleased to say as yet I have no whiskers, cheese cravings or tail growing! Thank you to my fella who is putting up with his more-than-normal-weird-woman, thanku SJC for always being ready to make a cuppa (lots of peppermint tea) and thanku to those who may read this - I am hoping...

Have you ever woken up one day, kept your eyes closed, lay in your bed and thought “What will today bring?” Yep, I guess most people will have done that at some stage… I’m a little different.   I wake up each day, keep my eyes closed and think “Which part of my body will not be working as soon as I move?” Some days I’m lucky and I can move my arms and legs and there is no immediate pain… most days, there is pain somewhere, but I never know where until I start to move.   Some days, I cannot move and the pain is too much to bear and it's not simply just pain, I feel ILL. Sometimes getting out of bed is difficult enough… stairs, well, mostly I go down them backwards, eating is difficult when my jaw won't work or the nausea kicks in, headaches every.single.day and and and… the fatigue never ceases. It’s overwhelming, it’s life sapping. However, some days I can get up and all appears well – but during the day something always happens, some part...